Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Day 6 down and the rest of my life to go
I am humbled to be "here" again. Armed with new knowledge and tools in my tool box. Time will tell if I learned how to put these to better use than last time.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Out with the old in with the new
I've decided to stop smoking again. Stop smoking, more like not starting up a new one. Anyway, I've got a journal on quitnet, and I can only use a 1,000 words. Well in order to add any more (since it's full) words, I need to clean out my old ones. I'm so used to explaining things to Denise ad nauseum at this point in my life it's become a bad habit. Huh, what, I don't understand? I digress, well here's my old journal. I didn't want to lose this and what better way than post it to the public, and I think they gave me a little more than a 1,000 words.
I am quitting to get my wind back, my motivation, everything. I want so badly to be a non smoker again, like when I was a kid.
2/2/07 32 days! Still going strong! We can do this! I love exclamation points!
2/28/07 57 days and counting
3/3/07 60 days today!
3/12/07 69 days today. Another reason I want to quit and stay quit, I just remembered how much I hated smoking in front of and around children. I just didn`t like being that person.
3/17/07 Day 74, I can`t belive it still 74 days. What do I do now instead of smoke, drink gourmet coffee, oh and something amazing has happened I can breath out of both barrels, that`s awesome. I was always plugged up when smoking. Still trying to clean up my life. Oh and a neighbors dog gave birth under my house, so now I have this constant, yelping that isn`t helping my quit. Things seem to come slow in not smoking, which I try to prepare myself for, but so far they seem worth it. A lot of things for me right now are hard fought battles, for tiny quite victories, but I`m doing it, 1 battle at a time.
My new mantra
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
Mar 27th, 07
Well I am starting to realize, that I am grateful. An attitude change, an empowerment. I`m usually worrying, and planning for the worst, and here lately I`ve noticed I`m not. I give credit to a lot of things, and I believe as crazy as this might sound, to not smoking. I walk now, read while walking study mainly and think. I have even started to count my blessings.
Not smoking has helped me realize some things. For example, I am ever so grateful to be able to breath out of both my nostrils, the majority of the time now. I say this a lot or have said it a lot since quitting smoking, `I didn`t quit smoking for this`. I want the best now, and I don`t want to settle. Quitting wasn`t easy and I want the rewards. Like breathing, and smelling and I want things to work as hard as I have to now and if they don`t get rid of them. I`m also very grateful for this place. I`m 84 days without smoking at this point, and that is the longest I`ve ever gone. In fact, I quit my job because I hated it for one, and two I didn`t want anything to interfere with my quit. I was very stressed out at that place. It was, a was now.
Best of luck to everyone and
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
3/31/07 What a month. Since I quit my job, my BP dropped 50 points. Also the only thing I have had to change since quitting smoking, everything. Just something I`ve noticed.
4/24/07 Still here. Don`t get a lot of time right now, finals, and a new puppy. Miss coming by, still smoke free @ day 113 holy cow BATMAN!
6/7/07 156 days later.... My life seems to have really changed. I think about how much of my life I wouldn`t recoginize from even 6 months ago (I`ve been quit for 5). I am still smoke free, which is awesome, and I am more proud of myself daily. I am working on losing some weight now, the first time in my life. I guess turning 30 had a profound impact on me, cause I have a real fire under my ass now. I have dialed my job WAY back, which is good for stress, not so good for money. Which has helped me see where I need to be more efficent with money, and just about across the board of my life.
I am back in school, just completed a chemistry with a hard fought B. I put that stupid class off for 10 years, and the first thing I do when I quit smoking take that on. HA! The teacher was awful, but apparently was just what I needed. I am taking physics now, something I put off for to long.
That`s what I`ve been noticing here lately, quitting has helped me see things `differently`, the things I told myself to justify just about everything, including smoking. I `smell` smokers now, and think that was me. Smoking was 1 more set of chains I put on myself, and I`m glad I`m out. And I KNOW above all else, just 1 will put me right back there, so that keeps me humble.
Life certainly changes after you quit. Which I`m glad for. I ramble, it gets better hang in there! Keep on keepin on, lifes a garden you dig
I guess in short. I `feel` better. I can breath out of nose like I should, I don`t cough in the morning, I can walk/jog, I still have to make myself, but I can. Food does taste better, I`ve noticed I`m a fast eater, so I am teaching myself to slow down, and food continues to taste better. I am learning to enjoy things in a new way. I did put on about 15 pounds, SUGAR!!!!! Boston Creme Pie!!! I am doing the things, that either have scared me, or I`ve put off to long. I paid off debt, now I am working towards a house. It gets better, it`s not a bed of roses, but I guess just like when we started smoking, it`s what you make it.
If I can just keep going, and lose my spare tire, and look like an Abercrombie model, I`ll be doing fantastic! ;-)
6/8/07
Wisdom is knowing what path to take next...
Integrity is taking it
I like that
I am quitting to get my wind back, my motivation, everything. I want so badly to be a non smoker again, like when I was a kid.
2/2/07 32 days! Still going strong! We can do this! I love exclamation points!
2/28/07 57 days and counting
3/3/07 60 days today!
3/12/07 69 days today. Another reason I want to quit and stay quit, I just remembered how much I hated smoking in front of and around children. I just didn`t like being that person.
3/17/07 Day 74, I can`t belive it still 74 days. What do I do now instead of smoke, drink gourmet coffee, oh and something amazing has happened I can breath out of both barrels, that`s awesome. I was always plugged up when smoking. Still trying to clean up my life. Oh and a neighbors dog gave birth under my house, so now I have this constant, yelping that isn`t helping my quit. Things seem to come slow in not smoking, which I try to prepare myself for, but so far they seem worth it. A lot of things for me right now are hard fought battles, for tiny quite victories, but I`m doing it, 1 battle at a time.
My new mantra
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
Mar 27th, 07
Well I am starting to realize, that I am grateful. An attitude change, an empowerment. I`m usually worrying, and planning for the worst, and here lately I`ve noticed I`m not. I give credit to a lot of things, and I believe as crazy as this might sound, to not smoking. I walk now, read while walking study mainly and think. I have even started to count my blessings.
Not smoking has helped me realize some things. For example, I am ever so grateful to be able to breath out of both my nostrils, the majority of the time now. I say this a lot or have said it a lot since quitting smoking, `I didn`t quit smoking for this`. I want the best now, and I don`t want to settle. Quitting wasn`t easy and I want the rewards. Like breathing, and smelling and I want things to work as hard as I have to now and if they don`t get rid of them. I`m also very grateful for this place. I`m 84 days without smoking at this point, and that is the longest I`ve ever gone. In fact, I quit my job because I hated it for one, and two I didn`t want anything to interfere with my quit. I was very stressed out at that place. It was, a was now.
Best of luck to everyone and
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
3/31/07 What a month. Since I quit my job, my BP dropped 50 points. Also the only thing I have had to change since quitting smoking, everything. Just something I`ve noticed.
4/24/07 Still here. Don`t get a lot of time right now, finals, and a new puppy. Miss coming by, still smoke free @ day 113 holy cow BATMAN!
6/7/07 156 days later.... My life seems to have really changed. I think about how much of my life I wouldn`t recoginize from even 6 months ago (I`ve been quit for 5). I am still smoke free, which is awesome, and I am more proud of myself daily. I am working on losing some weight now, the first time in my life. I guess turning 30 had a profound impact on me, cause I have a real fire under my ass now. I have dialed my job WAY back, which is good for stress, not so good for money. Which has helped me see where I need to be more efficent with money, and just about across the board of my life.
I am back in school, just completed a chemistry with a hard fought B. I put that stupid class off for 10 years, and the first thing I do when I quit smoking take that on. HA! The teacher was awful, but apparently was just what I needed. I am taking physics now, something I put off for to long.
That`s what I`ve been noticing here lately, quitting has helped me see things `differently`, the things I told myself to justify just about everything, including smoking. I `smell` smokers now, and think that was me. Smoking was 1 more set of chains I put on myself, and I`m glad I`m out. And I KNOW above all else, just 1 will put me right back there, so that keeps me humble.
Life certainly changes after you quit. Which I`m glad for. I ramble, it gets better hang in there! Keep on keepin on, lifes a garden you dig
I guess in short. I `feel` better. I can breath out of nose like I should, I don`t cough in the morning, I can walk/jog, I still have to make myself, but I can. Food does taste better, I`ve noticed I`m a fast eater, so I am teaching myself to slow down, and food continues to taste better. I am learning to enjoy things in a new way. I did put on about 15 pounds, SUGAR!!!!! Boston Creme Pie!!! I am doing the things, that either have scared me, or I`ve put off to long. I paid off debt, now I am working towards a house. It gets better, it`s not a bed of roses, but I guess just like when we started smoking, it`s what you make it.
If I can just keep going, and lose my spare tire, and look like an Abercrombie model, I`ll be doing fantastic! ;-)
6/8/07
Wisdom is knowing what path to take next...
Integrity is taking it
I like that
Friday, January 02, 2009
A new year and a new perspective.
Well a new year is upon us. So what to do, what to do. Well like so many of us, I've decided to make a few changes. One is to quit smoking again, a bad thing I picked back up. Another is to journal, and just try to live better. Last year I decided to go vegetarian, and I wasn't smoking and I just felt better. And well I kinda want to get back. You know after you do something, it's not quite so scary, well quitting smoking for me is kind of like that, and I hope I don't get used to it, being old hat and all. My buddy Craig has inspired me as well. We used to do a lot of things together, well this Joker has put away some toys and picked up new ones, dropped some weight ran a half marathon, and looks awesome. Well bring it!
Also I never post on this thing anymore, doesn't seem like much to write about. Well lets see how this works out. I start my clinical's in a few days. One of the big things that pushed me to finally quit. I'm going to be a sonographer if and when I ever grow up.
Well here it is a new beginning. Let's dance.
Also I never post on this thing anymore, doesn't seem like much to write about. Well lets see how this works out. I start my clinical's in a few days. One of the big things that pushed me to finally quit. I'm going to be a sonographer if and when I ever grow up.
Well here it is a new beginning. Let's dance.
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