I've decided to stop smoking again. Stop smoking, more like not starting up a new one. Anyway, I've got a journal on quitnet, and I can only use a 1,000 words. Well in order to add any more (since it's full) words, I need to clean out my old ones. I'm so used to explaining things to Denise ad nauseum at this point in my life it's become a bad habit. Huh, what, I don't understand? I digress, well here's my old journal. I didn't want to lose this and what better way than post it to the public, and I think they gave me a little more than a 1,000 words.
I am quitting to get my wind back, my motivation, everything. I want so badly to be a non smoker again, like when I was a kid.
2/2/07 32 days! Still going strong! We can do this! I love exclamation points!
2/28/07 57 days and counting
3/3/07 60 days today!
3/12/07 69 days today. Another reason I want to quit and stay quit, I just remembered how much I hated smoking in front of and around children. I just didn`t like being that person.
3/17/07 Day 74, I can`t belive it still 74 days. What do I do now instead of smoke, drink gourmet coffee, oh and something amazing has happened I can breath out of both barrels, that`s awesome. I was always plugged up when smoking. Still trying to clean up my life. Oh and a neighbors dog gave birth under my house, so now I have this constant, yelping that isn`t helping my quit. Things seem to come slow in not smoking, which I try to prepare myself for, but so far they seem worth it. A lot of things for me right now are hard fought battles, for tiny quite victories, but I`m doing it, 1 battle at a time.
My new mantra
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
Mar 27th, 07
Well I am starting to realize, that I am grateful. An attitude change, an empowerment. I`m usually worrying, and planning for the worst, and here lately I`ve noticed I`m not. I give credit to a lot of things, and I believe as crazy as this might sound, to not smoking. I walk now, read while walking study mainly and think. I have even started to count my blessings.
Not smoking has helped me realize some things. For example, I am ever so grateful to be able to breath out of both my nostrils, the majority of the time now. I say this a lot or have said it a lot since quitting smoking, `I didn`t quit smoking for this`. I want the best now, and I don`t want to settle. Quitting wasn`t easy and I want the rewards. Like breathing, and smelling and I want things to work as hard as I have to now and if they don`t get rid of them. I`m also very grateful for this place. I`m 84 days without smoking at this point, and that is the longest I`ve ever gone. In fact, I quit my job because I hated it for one, and two I didn`t want anything to interfere with my quit. I was very stressed out at that place. It was, a was now.
Best of luck to everyone and
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
3/31/07 What a month. Since I quit my job, my BP dropped 50 points. Also the only thing I have had to change since quitting smoking, everything. Just something I`ve noticed.
4/24/07 Still here. Don`t get a lot of time right now, finals, and a new puppy. Miss coming by, still smoke free @ day 113 holy cow BATMAN!
6/7/07 156 days later.... My life seems to have really changed. I think about how much of my life I wouldn`t recoginize from even 6 months ago (I`ve been quit for 5). I am still smoke free, which is awesome, and I am more proud of myself daily. I am working on losing some weight now, the first time in my life. I guess turning 30 had a profound impact on me, cause I have a real fire under my ass now. I have dialed my job WAY back, which is good for stress, not so good for money. Which has helped me see where I need to be more efficent with money, and just about across the board of my life.
I am back in school, just completed a chemistry with a hard fought B. I put that stupid class off for 10 years, and the first thing I do when I quit smoking take that on. HA! The teacher was awful, but apparently was just what I needed. I am taking physics now, something I put off for to long.
That`s what I`ve been noticing here lately, quitting has helped me see things `differently`, the things I told myself to justify just about everything, including smoking. I `smell` smokers now, and think that was me. Smoking was 1 more set of chains I put on myself, and I`m glad I`m out. And I KNOW above all else, just 1 will put me right back there, so that keeps me humble.
Life certainly changes after you quit. Which I`m glad for. I ramble, it gets better hang in there! Keep on keepin on, lifes a garden you dig
I guess in short. I `feel` better. I can breath out of nose like I should, I don`t cough in the morning, I can walk/jog, I still have to make myself, but I can. Food does taste better, I`ve noticed I`m a fast eater, so I am teaching myself to slow down, and food continues to taste better. I am learning to enjoy things in a new way. I did put on about 15 pounds, SUGAR!!!!! Boston Creme Pie!!! I am doing the things, that either have scared me, or I`ve put off to long. I paid off debt, now I am working towards a house. It gets better, it`s not a bed of roses, but I guess just like when we started smoking, it`s what you make it.
If I can just keep going, and lose my spare tire, and look like an Abercrombie model, I`ll be doing fantastic! ;-)
6/8/07
Wisdom is knowing what path to take next...
Integrity is taking it
I like that
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