This is awesome

So last night I googled http://tinyurl.com/3xqcuxs and the first link that pops up is awesome. Try it, the article well saves me a lot of typing. Serendipity! Oh my

Love, and what I've learned

You know what I've learned from 'unconditional' love. 'Things' I 'love' as much as myself or more, which is few, but what I've learned. I want for them more than me, cliche, check. What's interesting, is, when they grow, and maybe it surpaseses me, I'm not jealous, but grateful.

When those I chose to love, 'outgrow' me, and I'm not jealous, I know.

Freedom

Freedom, is such a powerful word. I've learned today, what it means to me. I thought before I saw my sister, it meant breathing, and not having to carry around smokes. But tonight I got to spend time with my older sister, mom, and niece, and it means, being able to love and appreciate someone for who they are, and nothing more or else. To 'truely' appreciate them for them, and where they are in their life. Freedom, Free DOM, love it, and all it's personal irony. There's nothing else in my life, at least for today, worth more.

I've spent time with an old friend, and I used to think I could never live without her, and the thought of her with another man, I used to go insane. Now, I couldn't be happier for her. And to be able to say that honestly, worth all the money I ever thought I'd make.

Freedom

It's over!

Laela is no longer getting bologna and cheap hot dogs. Done with that, had a conversation with a friend of mine, and she was right, and it's the right thing to do. Laela will now being getting, good quality cuts of meat, and poultry. Roast beef, ham, turkey, and guess that means no more crap from those bar-b-que places either. Laela is going to get healthy with me. I take responsibilty for her, and I know better, and am now going to start doing better. Love you Laelaface!

Here's a great site to figure up home much to feed your friend. Here's the link http://www.natureslogic.com/feeding/dog.htm And here's a great article from the ASPCA for adult dogs http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/dog-care/feeding-your-adult-dog.html

The Face of Dogfighting

The Face of Dogfighting

1 week

It's been over a week now since I've had a smoke, and it's been amazing. I got a good case of the 'Quitter's Flu', and never did run a fever, but had ALL of the other symptoms. Looks like the worst is behind me now. Had chills, sweats, lot of coughing, and all that good stuff. Withdrawl, gotta love it. In fact if I start smoking again, it will just be so I can experience, the joy and wonder of nicotine withdrawl. Yummy.

I did it while working, and I recommend sleeping as much as you can. And single. Watch out world.

See what the next week has in store.

One of my favorites

This was one of the first poems I fell in love with. Still enjoy it, it's timeless like Pink Floyd.

Mr. Robert Frost, R.I.P.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Okay update from my last update

It's Sunday, and I'm just relaxing at the house, it's nice and quite, and I LOVE IT!!! I write that, not to impress or conive, but more for me, when and if I look back on this post. I honestly am at peace at the moment, and have nothing left to prove, just for today.

Let's see some things since I got back from Portland. Well I just back from Orlando, FL, and it just hit to me to add a link here to the photo's I have online. Orlando, and the conference were intense, there is so much I could write, but alas I am not. I'm tired of talking about it. In a word, AWESOME! A side note, I got to turn in my biggest expense report to date in, and currently still waiting on a check. However, that's a nice segway into, I'm loving my finances right now, can pay ALL my bills, and have enough left over to really attack my debt. Which I am planning on sending in my final payments for 2 cards, this week. WOOHOO!!!!! I am living the best life I've ever known up to this point. I'm the lead sonographer were I work, and I know I have the job for at least a year, and longer if I choose. I'm just in a very stable situation, and have been thinking a lot here lately about some people who have to chosen to leave my life. Why? I want to understand what is different about versus them. Why can I? Why can they not.

I read a wonderful quote by Maya Angelou while I was at the conference. "People can only do what they know to do, not what you think they should know, not even what they think they say they know, they can only do what they know to do." Brilliant! That sums it up nicely, and I've been thinking of this one too, "The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly." F Nietzsche. The lesson I'm learning is that, this life I have is for me, and it's my own custom lesson, and so is yours. And the lesson I'm learning is to let go, it's painful to see others so stunted. So unable to see, and I have to remind myself, what is it I'm missing, what do I not see?
Plato's Allegory of the Cave keeps coming up.

Other things, that are tangible and quantifiable. I'm on day 3 of no smoking, and except for a few instances, I've been vegetarian now for over a month. I'm so very much enjoying life, and I don't want to be apart of others suffering. If I can't stop it, I can at least stop my part of it. I got rid of cable, I found I was never watching it. I've been just to busy, going out, enjoying life, just there's so so much to do, and sitting here watching tv wasn't apart of it for me.

I have no more roomates, and had my cousin do what he does best and bail out while I was at work. I'm not mad, and I understand why he did it. My hasn't tried to contact me for almost 2 weeks, THANK YOU! I hope she finds a rich man, as in right now, and leaves me alone permantely. I'm thankful for life again! I didn't realize how toxic my relationship was, and how much I just cannot stand her not supporting herself, and her children. I didn't know people could be that helpless.

Got the house winterized, and my last elec bill was .47$, nice. Circumstances, have just gotten night and day better, but I don't feel different. Other than I'm grateful to not have to fight and bicker all the time. Just everything is looking up, and I'm slowly starting to see the differences, of my old life to now. I have some more changes in mind, and getting a new car is one of them. That's one of the big ones, and scuba diving again. Til then I have more work in front of me, what I've accomplished so far puts me in a new league, but at the beggining. It's wonderful looking forward to going to work. It's a lot nicer than I've ever known before, and I wouldn't trade a single second for any part of my old life. Might sound hoakey, nonetheless it's true.

Well, I'm running a little low. The detox is taking effect, sore throat, letheragy, but I know it will soon pass. That to is a wonderful thing to know, it will pass. It's nice to have a nice moment your in too, but you get the point.